Super Emotional

So the normal me is not the kind of person who gets emotional or cries at little things. I am not the kind of person who is very emotional, but being here in Korea another year has really been tough on me. I feel like most of the time I am super close to breaking down and crying. If you know me then you know that I hate crying. I can't stand it, I feel as though it shows weakness. And really dislike when people cry around me (with the exception of little children). Even worse than that, I HATE when I cry. I feel so feeble and not in control. Like I said being in Korea has been pretty hard, two months ago I signed on for another year (because of money and the economy) it has just gotten worse for me. It's not that Korea has really changed, I have. Korea is still the same place it was when I first arrived, when I liked being here. I have become sick of being here. I am sick of not being able to understand the people in culture and language both. I’m sick of not being understood. I am sick of being stared at because I am different. I am sick of the lifestyle here. Please don't get me wrong, Korea is a great place. I love the people I have met and befriended here. But, I have had enough. My time in Korea has ran its course. I have a little over 9 months left here and I feel as though it could not go fast enough. I thin I will be a little sad when it comes time to leave. I will miss the good things about being here. I will miss the carefree life, not having to worry about money, and a few other things. But overall I am so ready to get out of here. I am ready to feel normal again, to live a normal life again. I am counting down till I am home.

Some days…Most days

Some days I feel good about being here in Korea. Some days are great. Some days my students pay attention and learn. Some days they are a blast to be around. Some days I think I could maybe stay in Korea for a few more years. Some days I love my life here and how simple it is. Some days I love being free and not tied down. Some days are a piece of cake and life is great. Some days I feel excited about my life in Korea. Some days I don’t worry too much about the future and live in the present. Some days I just laugh and say “Oh Korea”

Most days I want to go home. Most days are really tough. Most days my students don’t like to listen or be quite. Most days some are a blast to be around. Most days I think I can’t stay in Korea another minute. Most days I want more complexity. Most days I want to be tied down. Most days are harder than anyone could imagine. Most days I am up and down. Most days I worry too much about the future and what it holds. Most days I feel as though I am going crazy.

It's been a while

Well it has been a while since I have written anything. One of my new goals is to write more. So here’s where I start. Since the last blog a lot has happened so I’ll just catch up on a little. I have been at my new school for about two months now. I am still really enjoying my time here. Although it is hard being in Korea sometimes, my job is great. My students can be a handful sometimes, but mostly are just enjoyable. The schedule here is nice too, because I work five classes a day Mon~Thur 8:30~4:40. But only four of those are regular classes, the fifth one is an overtime class. Then on Fri I am finished at 3:30. We have no afternoon classes on Fridays so we are finished a little early. My classes are 45 mins long and I have lots of free time in between classes. We also have a good amount of breaks and holidays. It has been a great experience being here at the school. But like I said it is hard sometimes too. I miss my friends and family terribly. I get really tired of being here sometimes. It’s is super hard when I hear about people back home whose lives are moving on without me. Or those people who are making big changes in their lives. It makes it very difficult to be here. So that’s the way I have been feeling about things lately. I feel torn sometimes about life here and my life back in the states.

Wednesday… Oh Wednesday

This is my first week working at my new school. I have already had some really great experiences. I am excited to start off the year and am ready to see what this year holds. First off you all should know that Korean schools are very different from American schools. On the first day of school the students come go to a few classes then have to clean the school. They sweep, clean the windows, wipe down walls… I thought this was very strange, but it is very common. Another thing I was very surprised to hear, one of the foreign teachers told me not to worry if one of the teachers brings a student into our offices and hits them. Yes the school systems still use physical punishment. Last year a student caught a teacher on his video phone beating another student, so now the home-room teachers have to take the students cell phones at the beginning of class. All the students wear uniforms. The students show more respect for their teachers probably due to the fact that they know what their punishment could be. While I would never choose to hit a student, I have been told that if I have any problems that I may tell a Korean teacher or can use another form of punishment like running, push-ups, chin-ups, ect. I have not and hope that I do not have to use these forms of discipline. All of the teachers have been nice. Sometimes I feel as though I am an outsider. In more ways than one I have felt like as soon as I walk in or out of a room I am being talked about. It is very hard because I want to befriend the Korean teachers. But I feel as though it will not be as easy as I would like. I feel a little alone sometimes and do not enjoy it very much. I hope to make friends with my co-workers and will be able to call them friends.     

One week at a time

I have had quite a week and weekend. It kind of all started with some bad news when I found out that my boss was having “finical problems”. He had told my coworker and I that he would be giving my coworker and I our final pay on the 19^th of February. The day before that was supposed to happen he came to me and said I have to pay you later in March. It was really upsetting to me because I don’t and never have trusted him. I am still hoping that I will get my money from him. He has know that he would have to pay us the money that he owes us for a year and was very irresponsible in not having our money on time. I had sent all my money home thinking that I would have that money, so I had no money. 

On Saturday I was supposed to go into Seoul and work all day to make some money. I had to get up at 6:30 so that I could get to Seoul. I went to get money from my account; I got the last $10.00 that I could get out of my account. I got on the bus and at Suwon station had to recharge my t-money card so that I could actually take the subway into Seoul.  I put all my $10.00 on my card thinking that I would not need the money as long as I had my t-money card I could go into Seoul and would be ok. When I tried to use my card it would not work even though I had just put money on it. Anyway I had to go talk to the lady at the counter and was trying to explain that I had NO money to buy a ticket because I had put it all on my card. A Korean man came over to help as I was trying to explain that I need to get to Seoul, he bought me a ticket. It was so awesome and I had nothing better to say than thank you thank you so much. Anyway I made it to Seoul, worked all day and then met up with my friend Kelsi in another part of Seoul. We met up had Mexican food, ice cream, got manicures, and pedicures. Got home around 11:30 and just about passed out from exhaustion. On Sunday I got up went to church, after church a few friends and I went to lunch then some of us went to see the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. It was a good movie, but made me feel a little lonely. After the movie I had to go home and pack up my stuff. Monday morning I loaded up all my stuff in my Korean friends car. She drove me and all of my stuff down to Cheonan. After unloading everything I finally got settled in. I really like my new apartment, it’s bigger than my last one. I have a closet two stands a T.V. and a little table.  It was funny because I was so excited that my new school provided me with the little things that my first school didn’t. I have the rest of this week off and really want to enjoy my time before I start my new school. 

Skype

Today I got to talk to my sister (Nister).  It's really nice to talk to her and see her. I'm pretty sure I would not be able to stay in Korea or away from her and my family if it weren't for skype. I got to talk to her and see her while she was busy making dinner and walking around  her apartment. Thanks to skype I can feel like I'm right there in Canada in her apartment.  I love skype, it makes being away from home a lot easier. Although it's no where near as good as being there it's as close as I can get to her and I'm glad for at least that. It makes me happy to talk to and see my loved ones. 

I'm 25!!!!

So maybe turning 25 wasn't as scary as I thought it was going to be. I brought in my 25th year of being alive in style. I was determined to try and celebrate even thought I felt old and was a little sad about being 25. I ended up celebrating for like four days straight, with just about every person I know in Korea and very little sleep. I made it a point to enjoy my 25th birthday, be with friends and have the best time I could... I have to say that I achieved my goal. I had a wonderful birthday week and did just about everything I wanted to do for my special day. I enjoyed every tiring moment of it all. I feel so blessed to have such amazing friends and to be able to experience and enjoy life to the fullest. I have decide that 25 is going to be a GREAT year, the best year of my life. I'm going to have an incredible year and nothing is going to get in my way or stop me from living life and enjoying being 25.  I want life to just keep getting better and better and believe that as long as I have the right attitude and mind set that it will. I have a great life and am so blessed and thankful. I'm going to take every opportunity I can to live life, love people, and enjoy everything I have. So here's to 25 the greatest year of my life may it just continue to get better!!!!