This one's for the ladies

Ok this has been on my mind lately so I've decided to write about it. Hopefully I'm not the only person who struggles with this, but maybe... I have a lot of self confidence issues and have been trying to find out what God says about me instead of what I say or others say. I've struggled with this for a LONG time and am just sick of feeling so negative about myself. I've looked in all the wrong places trying to find something or someone who can make me feel better about myself and it's not worked.

Ok it's get real time. These are some specific things I struggle with in the self esteem area things like feelings of not being good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough... other thoughts. But I'm sick of feeling this way about myself and want to seek and believe what God says about me, not what the world says. I've looked at magazines, movies, and men to try to find myself or a better me. I've never wanted to admit that I looked to these sources to make me feel better about myself but it's true. I've looked and movies and magazines to try to figure out what type of woman I should be and I've looked to men to confirm what they say. In doing this I felt empty and far from what they said. In comparing myself to something that's unreal and unattainable I end up losing myself completely. Instead of filling myself up I felt empty, shallow, and was neglecting the person inside.

Now I'm trying to turn to God to fulfill this emptiness I feel.

So here are a somethings that the Bible says

Psalm 139:13

Jeremiah 1:5

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart for my holy purpose. I appointed you to be a prophet to the nations."

Even before I was born God knew me. He loved me and knew what my purpose would be. He has great plans for me and my life. How amazing is it that He loved me before I was even formed and how amazingly he formed me into the person I am. He doesn't make mistakes. SO that means I am here for a purpose.

1 Peter 3:3-4

42

Even though it's hard in todays society It's not about the outer appearance. The way I wear my hair, clothes, or jewelry it's not what makes a person. It's about the person you are inside about striving to be pure for God.

Proverbs 31:30

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

Sorry if this was scattered and a little crazy. I just started writing and wanted to get it all out.

My triathlon!!!

I just finished my first triathlon this last weekend. When I finished I was so proud of myself and never thought I would be able to do it in the past. That morning I wasn't sure about it and kept telling my friend that I would NEVER do it again... I didn't like getting up at 4:30 to go swim, bike, and run. But when I started I got an adrenaline rush and really liked it. About half way through the biking I started feeling like I needed to keep talking to myself trying to push. I couldn't listen to my ipod so I was talking like crazy to myself. But then people that I would see would start pushing. We would be passing each other and someone would say something like keep going, you're doing great, or I like your shoes (that was my favorite). It was so inspiring to have people I didn't know pushing me to keep going. When I got of the bike after 13miles my legs were like jello. When I finally got them back it was hard to run because it was hard to catch my breath. I finally got my second or third wind and my endorphins really kicked in and I finished strong!!! I can't even begin to describe how it felt to cross the finish line. It was such a rush. As soon as I started I knew I wanted to do it again. I want to keep pushing myself and maybe one day do an iron man... I'm planing on doing another sprint tri soon and hope to keep building up. I really loved it and can't wait to do another one.

Where oh where does the time go

It's the middle of November and I can hardly believe it. I can't believe how fast time has gone by.

As my time here in Korea draws to an end I feel kind of like a nerd for how much I love truly have come to love this place. Korea has become a home to me. I have a wonderful job which I am so sad to leave in just a few short months. I love what I do and it's going to be so hard to say goodbye to my students. I really love them and working with them. There are times when I get a little sad when it's the weekend because I have such wonderful students. I want to take each one of them home with me... lol 360 Korean kids are coming home with me. They make my day everyday. They know how to make me laugh and always know when I need to laugh. Even my tennis playing students (whom I never see in class) make me smile. Every time I see them outside they always yell Ms. Shannon, wave really big, and try to speak their best English to me. Last night I saw them outside and instead of going to study they were going to the PC bong (PC room) and asked me to come play with them.

I am also going to really miss my family (friends) here in Korea. The people I have been hanging out with have become more then friends, they are like my family. I see them on a regular basis, I have meetings with them, share bug events with them, and spend the holiday's with them. They know me better than some of my family members, they are there for me, and they love me. I will truly miss all the relationships I have made here in Korea. I want to be able to say that I will see them all again some day, but I never know. Once I leave Korea I may never see them again. It breaks my heart to think about leaving and the possibility that I may never again see the people I know and love again. That all the relationships I hold dear might fade away.

I'm really getting sadder about leaving in about four months. I am excited about going home but will always love love Korea and the people here. Only about three and a half more months till I'll be heading back to the states.

I have never loved so many guys at once

Let me explain my title.

The past week or so I have been a little sad. I have realized that I only have six more teaching weeks left. We are in midterms this week which means it's half way through the second term. I can't believe how fast it has gone. I have truly come to love and become close to my students. I love seeing them, I love going to work. I really enjoy teaching my guys so that's why I say I have never loved so many guys at once. All 350 of my students are special and have unique personalities. I have enjoyed teaching them and having them in my classes.

So it is with a sad heart that I will be leaving in a few months. I will always look back on this time as one of the best jobs I have ever had. It has been an amazing experience that I will always cherish.

I am excited to come back to the states, but I am a little nervous about coming back. I know it will be hard to adjust back and it will be so different from when I left. It will be weird but I am excited and am happy to go back in just a few months.

Quote my life

“Eventually all the right pieces fall into place, until then laugh at all the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason.”

I love quotes I have a bunch of them posted in my office at work. This on is one of my favorites. I think it’s so true in life. I believe that eventually everything will work out and the way it is supposed to. But in all the confusion of life we should only laugh at it. There is no reason to get upset at the things we can not change. The only way to change a bad situation is to have a positive attitude and laugh it all. We should live for every moment because we never know when it will be our last. When it comes down to it I want people to know that I lived my life to the fullest. We only get one chance at this thing called life. It’s confusing and sometimes crazy but that’s the stuff that makes us appreciate the good times more. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. Weather it’s to teach us, to grow us, or to develop us. Know that there is a purpose for everything that happens to you. Even in the painful situations, which we have all had in our
lives, there is a reason. Everything great and small builds your character; it develops you into the person you are meant to be.

So I’ll leave you with one more of my favorite quotes that we should also live by. Live well, Laugh often, Love much. God bless.

Oh the curves of life's journey

I was talking with a friend this weekend who likes to call me honey... lol about my past relationship. I got a little sad when talking to him about it because I realized that no matter how over something you can be the past can always still hurt. We were talking about proposals and a little about my first one when I realized that that fact made me sad. My whole life I have only wanted there to be one. I have only wanted to plan one wedding. To truly love one guy. To think about spending the rest of my life with one person.

I was reminded that I will one day have to tell my future husband that there was one guy that I planned all that with that before him. I hate that because I feel as though it's taking something away from my future husband. I know that the past is the past and there's nothing I can do about it. I am beyond glad that I didn't get married that I didn't end up living a life that would have been miserable. but it breaks my heart that one day I'm going to have to tell my future spouse that there was someone before him. It might sound crazy but it really does break my heart. I want my future to be special and I want all the firsts back. I hate telling people or talking about the past. Not really because I feel embarrassed that I have already been engaged, but I just feel as though it won't be as special because I have already been through the proposal, the engagement, the wedding planning, and other things.

I know this blog might be a little silly but it was on my mind after talking to my friend about it.

Turn obstacles into opportunities

There are so many obstacles in our lives and when they come what do we do? I know that most of the time when I have an obstacle in my life I usually don't know what to do. I get angry, I get sad, I am confused, and lost. I've never really put much thought into changing my obstacles into an opportunities. How much better would things go for me if I would stop thinking obstacles were bad.

The fact is that we all have obstacles in our lives, we always will. The thing that makes us different is how we chose to deal with those obstacles. If we keep thinking of them as obstacles then that's all they will be. But what if we turn it around, what if we begin to look at obstacles in life as opportunities? How much better would it be for us? What kind of great things could come from those obstacles?

Many times I feel as though I have had or do have obstacles in my way. I have never stop to realize that they are more than that. They have become or will become a great opportunity. I want to change my focus from thinking about things in life as obstacles and think of everything as an opportunity.